Never have I seen a product description so long, so intense, and so, well, descriptive. No fragrance, vinyl, colouring book, refrigerator, or house has a product summary this long. It genuinely feels like they either asked AI to write a gushing description, or a Sleep Token fanatic to do it. Check it out:
“If you ever doodled the logo of your favourite band on the back of your exercise book at school, or you spent hours on end staring at every detail of your favourite vinyl album cover….then this is for you. Rock N’ Roll Colouring is proud to present the very first officially endorsed colouring book featuring iconic images for one of rock music’s most innovative and successful bands – Sleep Token!
“Put together with the input and direction of the band, this book features imagery from the all conquering Even In Arcadia album, alongside iconic renderings of Vessel and specially created mandalas – all printed on high quality paper, in a square format, fully endorsed and officially licenced, these killer designs have the potential for hours of satisfying colouring in. The book allows you to dive deep into the enigmatic and mysterious world of Sleep Token, letting your imagination run riot as you create your own personalised versions of your favourite designs.”
It’s still going.
“Each book contains painstakingly created renderings of each image, with beautifully detailed outlines ready for you to unleash your artistic skills using pens, pencils or paint. Let your imagination run wild and add your own interpretation of these classic images, or simply recreate them as closely as you can to the originals. Whatever you decide, the satisfaction of adding your personal touch to these classic designs is extremely rewarding.
“Devised and created by two lifelong rock and heavy metal devotees and colouring book fans, Rock N’ Roll Colouring was formed by fans, for fans. Every effort has gone into making sure these books do justice incredible artistic vision of Sleep Token, and give fans another reason to enjoy some of the most beautiful and creative artwork from this band. And not only that colouring has proven significant mental health benefits including mindfulness, relaxation and increased focus, and can be enjoyed by any age group. These books provide hours of creative and restful activity that combines a love of the music with a love of the art.”
For nearly £13, you can be the proud owner of a Sleep Token colouring book. Oh, or there’s another option for £15 with an “eyesore exclusive colour mandala print,” but that one’s sold-out.
But, at the top of the product listing for the original £13 colouring book is “***PLEASE NOTE – THIS ITEM IS CURRENTLY BEING REPRINTED DUE TO INCREDIBLE DEMAND***.”
Listen, I’m all for adult colouring books, I have several in my room. But, good lord, people – this Sleep Token oversaturation was a bit much in the beginning, and even more so now. It doesn’t necessarily help the parasocial disconnection between fan realising it is indeed a real person behind the mask, and not some caricature you can colour in. Sure, there are franchise adult colouring books, but it’s a franchise. It’s fictional. Sleep Token is a band.
And no shade to Rock N’ Roll Colouring Books. Get your bag, sis.
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